Posted: July 23rd, 2014

What We Drank(s) on the New York Cork Report


One of my favorite things to see is a round up of what other dudes (and dudettes) consume side by side. It’s like metaphorically tasting together despite being miles apart….and the small fact, that some of the other contributors to the NYCR, I’ve never even met.

More on the Prosecco in a Porrón later!

Let’s take a moment to talk about Brunch. Many food people hate the meal thats not really anything. Too late for breakfast, too early for lunch, most restaurants serve you whatever slop they have in the walk in to use it up and charge you extra for making them come in during the day. As a hard fast dedicated “breakfast for any meal” sort of person, I’m not going to piss all over a world where I can get hash browns or huevos any time of day.

My issue, however, is groups of well dressed ladies who come in a pack to an establishment and demand Prosecco in an affected valley girl voice that I occasionally adapt myself when at a nail salon so no one can smell the weird on me. Even worse? WHEN THEY CALL IS “CHAMPS.”

Champagne is from Champagne. Other types of sparkling wine exists throughout the world and sometimes it’s as good as if not better (for your wallet) than Champagne. It’s not “Champs.”  Call your wine ‘Bubbles’ if you’re trying to be cute or name bottles after Michael Jackson’s Monkey….but please for the love for Dom, DO NOT CALL ANYTHING SPARKLING WINE ‘CHAMPS.”

Champ(p)s is a Midwestern American Food Chain with a silent P. It’s not slang for a wine that has a lot to go through before it makes its way to your glass. Grapes that have to grow in cold temps, two fermentations, someone’s riddling those bottles by hand, aging, disgorging, a dosage…there’s a lot of shit to do. So give it a little respect. Besides, it’s probably not even Champagne in your glass.

Anyway, this has little to do with the Colfundo I enjoyed and wrote about for the NYCR other than don’t be stupid when you order sparkling wine at any time of day ever. Thanks.